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If all dance studios were packed full of lovelies like Zoe Blandford, guys countrywide would be lining up for dance lessons and tutu fittings. Unfortunately, as far as we know, this Gold Coast student is unique, a one-off, and girls like her are unlikely to be found in Dubbo Arts College on cold Wednesday nights.
Are you actually a ballet dancer?
I knew you were going to ask that question. Um, no I’m not.
That’s all my questions about ballet buggered, then.
They thought it would look good because I exercise and do lots of aerobics and everything – and everyone always tells me I look like a dancer.
You’re not even a bit interested in ballet dancing?
I did a little bit of dancing when I was little but I’m not really a ballet dancer. I did gymnastics when I was younger, too.
That’s nearly as good. These are what’s known as “popular male fantasies”.
Oh, OK.
People who are fit and bendy – guys just love that. Do you know why?
Ummm… the main reason being the, er, things they could do with someone who’s flexible.
That’s right. There is no other reason. They want to see how bendy you are.
(Laughs) I thought that might be the case.
Men also like lifting women above their heads and spinning around.
(Laughs) Really? I wasn’t aware of that one.
It’s all true. What are you studying at uni?
Commerce, financial planning and investment.
Christ.
Yeah.
There’s no way I can sex that up.
(Laughs) Whenever I do a photo shoot and say what I study, they tell me how boring it is.
Double finance with extra numbers.
It’s not that bad.
Are your fellow students all really nerdy?
Ohh… I don’t want to say anything bad…
That’s alright. Come on – slag ’em off.
Most of them are mature-age students. I’m one of the few young people.
There they are – the future leaders of the world; very serious people…
Yeah, they find it hard to understand a 19-year-old girl who just blows into class. I don’t think they take me seriously.
Can they even summon up the courage to talk to you?
No! I’ve got a couple of friends there who are younger but that’s it.
What do you want to do when you finish?
I would like to learn how to invest and manage my money.
That’s far too sensible for a 19-year-old. Just don’t think about the future for the next 15 years, then panic. Like everyone else.
(Laughs) I just want to get uni over and done with. I finish next year and I know I’m not going to start work straightaway. I want to travel around the world…
In a sensible way, obviously.
Not necessarily!
I bet you’ve started planning it already. What other modelling have you done?
I did the Miss Indy last year – I was the second runner-up.
What was doing that like?
Oh, it was the most exciting thing. I mean, when are you going to get the opportunity to hang out with 30 other girls?
I wish I knew. Where can I sign up?
(Laughs) Yeah, all my male friends were like, “Can I sneak in to your room? Can I chat them up?” The number of guys who would have loved that.
Can you really leave modelling behind for finance?
Oh, I would love to do more modelling. I’m always open to opportunities. If an offer came up tomorrow to defer uni and do modelling I’d jump on it in a second.
Really?
Well, I’d only be 21 when I finish uni. No-one really wants a 21-year-old financial advisor.
If you were my financial advisor I’d be coming round for financial advice all the time. Maybe you’d have to wear glasses to look more serious.
The sad thing is I actually do need glasses to read. I work in an office two days a week and when I started guys wondered if I really needed the glasses or just wore them to fit the role.
Yeah, they just want to take them off to see how beautiful you are.
(Laughs) But I think I look nice in my glasses.
You’re going to have to wear really big thick ones. And a tweed suit. And wear flat shoes.
Oh, no, that’s not going to be me. I’ll be professional but still myself.
Here’s a Miss World question: is there any way to achieve world peace?
Oh, my goodness. There is no possible way.
No possible way.
Not with men ruling the world.
You’ll never win Miss World with an attitude like that.
(Laughs) Oh, sorry. But contestants don’t have to decide how to get world peace, they just have to say they want world peace.
That’s true. What’s the bravest thing you’ve ever done?
Probably drive around in my car with no brakes.
What? When did you find out it had no brakes?
I only had a quarter of my braking system left.
How long did it take to stop?
A while. You would see me slowing down about a kilometre before the intersection. That was just stupid. I didn’t have the money to get it fixed ’cos I’m a student.
Blame Howard. He’s risking your life; in fact the financial future of the country.
For sure.
What would be in your personalised hell?
Going on one of those Survivor shows. I hate not being clean. I have this weird obsession where I can’t even walk barefoot around my house.
Oh dear. You have got an immune system, don’t forget.
I know – I just like to feel clean. I don’t like dirt under my fingernails. I could never do gardening. I know that sounds really girly-girly.
A bit.
I will admit it. I could never go without a shower for the day.
Are you high-maintenance?
(Laughs) I wouldn’t say that. Someone else might say that. I would say, er, medium.
Why do men look silly naked, but women look great?
Women have got sexy curves. But I wouldn’t say men look silly.
We don’t look great.
Just accept that’s how they are. You can’t go laughing at them every time.
Alright. Are you just appreciating good-looking women, or are you sexually leaning that way?
Oh no, I just appreciate their beauty. Compliment them without feeling sexually attracted to them. But sometimes guys don’t quite understand. I think they just like to believe every girl is attracted to every other girl.
Yeah, true enough. Especially lesbians with gorgeous lesbian friends.
Guys just like thinking about the possibilities – what could happen.
I read that the length of the average sexual act is 10 minutes. Too long, do you think?
No! You’re asking a girl here.
Twelve minutes?
Higher. At least 20 minutes.
Twenty minutes is the minimum requirement?
It just depends on the mood you’re in, I suppose.
Yeah, if you’re after a knee-trembler in the corridor, 27 seconds is about enough.
(Laughs) Yeah. But normally, after 20 minutes, I’m not going to walk away disappointed. As if you’re ever going to walk away disappointed.
You’re so kind. Have you thought of your solution for world peace yet?
Give everyone a Jack Johnson CD and a few drinks.
Nice.
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